Season 4, Episodes 8-9
by wolfgirl2001
Summary: The Affair- Season 4, Episode 8/9 (AU)- Just an alternate, more pleasant/romantic take on the events towards the end of Season 4. When there's a loud banging on her door, this time Alison reacts differently. Rated T for now.


A/N: Can I just say- I LOVE this show. So I'm shocked and I'll admit a little disappointed that this is the very first story on here about this series, because I would love to read different versions/interpretations of the events of _The Affair_. On the plus side, I can write about what is likely the most predictable plot deviation without feeling too derivative- what happens if Alison never lets Ben into her condo?

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Part One: Alison

It was just knocking. She couldn't read too much into the _intent_ of the knocks, strictly based on their loudness and cadence- could she?

Yet somehow- their rhythm, their intensity, the vibration that she could almost _feel_ through her door- they signaled to her that the knocker, whoever he or she was, seemed angry. And she felt something, something deep in the pit of her stomach, that seemed to serve as warning.

Fear.

Her finger throbbed in time with her now accelerated heartbeat. But she couldn't let the pain be a distraction, keep her from observing those subtle little cues, cues that no matter _who_ was at the door or _what_ their intent was could keep her safe inside her condo. So she stuck her finger in her mouth to suck on the blood and ease the aching and made her way closer to the source of the sound.

No peephole. She was going to have to do this the old-fashioned way.

"Who is it?" Alison whispered at the door. It was immediately obvious that whomever was on the other side would never hear her voice at this level, not over the raging storm. She cleared her throat and tried again.

" _WHO IS IT_?" she bellowed this time. She was probably overcompensating, but her nervousness had rendered her with too little control over how strong her voice left her larynx.

The pounding stopped. They heard her after that one. But there was a long hesitation before they spoke up.

"Hi. It's Ben. Can I come in?"

 _Ben_. She should have been relieved- part of her was. This wasn't some total stranger who was going to hack her to pieces with a chainsaw the moment she revealed herself to him. Ben knew who she was. At least, she supposed he did.

Then again, she thought she knew who Ben was, too.

She wasn't sure if it was something big, like hearing Ben's voice for the first time since the revelation that she didn't know him the way she thought she did, or if it was something seemingly as miniscule as the way that he was knocking on her door- but her fear didn't completely dissipate. For whatever reason, the realization that it was Ben didn't slow down Alison's heartbeat quite enough. She was still anxious. And scared.

 _You're being ridiculous and paranoid, Alison. Right?_ She moved her hand towards the doorknob.

She wanted to shake it off, ignore that little feeling in her stomach. After all, when had she ever really been right about anything? Her gut gave her no definitive proof that she should trust it. And yet- a quick glance to her left where she saw several of Joanie's items stashed on her dining area table- and Alison realized that this wasn't just about her; she had her daughter to think of. She couldn't be too careful.

So she decided not to open the door just yet.

Alison breathed in and out, trying to collect herself. This was _not_ the way she had envisioned this confrontation going. But since she'd decided to keep the barrier between them for now, she was going to have to come up with something to explain to Ben why she wasn't going to let him inside. And quickly.

As if on cue, Ben spoke up. "Did you hear me knocking? Alison, let me in!" His voice rose abruptly and while it frightened her more than she cared to admit, it also reaffirmed to her that perhaps her instincts were right. She really _didn't_ know Ben all that well. Maybe keeping the door closed wasn't so crazy after all.

But was it locked? A quick glance downward, just inches from where her still outstretched hand was, revealed that Ben could still burst into her condo at any time. She had to fix that- without him knowing. But she had to respond to him first.

And if there was anything that would distract Ben enough for her to be able to lock the door, it would be what she was about to tell him.

She started simply, loud and clear. "You need to go home." As she said it, she started slowly and _very_ quietly rotating the lock. It was still pouring, the pitter-patter of raindrops hopefully masking the sound so Ben couldn't hear.

A pause on the other end. "What? Why?" Confusion. Another pause, then a flood of words, of attempted smoothing over. "Alison, I just came here to talk. Just give me a minute. Please, give me a minute-"

Slowly, slowly. Then the faintest click of the lock sliding into place. Now she could go for it. She just wanted him out of there. "Just go home to your fucking wife!"

Even though the door was secured, Alison was still as scared as ever. Sure, she might be able to keep Ben out for the moment, but if he was pounding on the door before- what about _now_ , after dropping this kind of a bomb on him? She wondered what her recourse was. Glancing around, she noticed her phone charging on the table. And suddenly it was all too obvious.

 _Call the police._

She quietly raced to her cell, pulling it from its charger on her coffee table and dashing back to the door so Ben wouldn't be the wiser. He was yelling but she'd tuned part of it out. She only caught the last bit.

"What do you know about my _wife_ , Alison?"

Ben's tone was chilling. He sounded like a stranger, not someone that she'd fantasized about sleeping with as recently as a week and a half ago. It stung, hearing the last shred of hope she had that Ben was a good guy being obliterated before her very ears. Unfortunately, she didn't have time to dwell on it. She had a plan now. She switched her phone to silent and responded, ice in her tone. "I met her, you asshole."

"You _what_? When?"

 _Six-digit password. Phone icon. 9-1-1. Another phone icon._ She didn't know the shortcut for an emergency call, but it didn't matter now. "Last week, at your office." She faintly heard ringing on the other end of the line. But since she didn't have it on speaker, there was no way it would be loud enough for Ben to overhear. _Ring, ring._

"Did you tell her? About-"

"No." Ever-so-faintly she could hear the voice of the female 911 operator. Alison couldn't utter a sound directly to her, however. She had to keep the conversation going with Ben- she couldn't afford to arouse his suspicion. But at least the operator, whoever she was, could indirectly learn the nature of this emergency call by what Alison was about to say. Alison forged on. "But I will. I swear. If you don't get out of here right now."

"If you ever fucking say anything to Heidi-"

A few seconds in, and Alison was pretty sure the 911 operator had already heard Ben threatening her. Pretty solid. She wouldn't even have to give her address, right? Surely 911 could obtain her phone's GPS coordinates. "So just leave. And I won't. And we never have to see each other again. Okay?"

More pauses.

" _You_ seduced _me_. I _told_ you I was sober."

Well, now he was just sounding ridiculous. "Ben-"

"I told you I couldn't get involved with anyone. But you wouldn't leave me alone."

"That's not true!"

"I don't want this!"

"Yes you did!"

"I'm fucking drinking again because of you. Why don't you admit what you are, huh?"

The words struck her as painfully as a blow would have. "What I am?"

"You broke up two marriages but that wasn't _enough_ for you? Say this is your fault and then I'll leave."

For a second, Alison couldn't even breathe. _What_. _An_. _Asshole_. Yet, it didn't take her long to find her voice. "I don't owe you a thing. You're an adult. I didn't seduce you. And even if I did I'm allowed to change my fucking mind. Listen to me, I've already called the police. Now get the fuck off my porch before I call your fucking wife!"

After she was done, after all those harsh words had escaped, it was as though they had carried a heavy weight with them- because she just felt so much _lighter._ Her heart was still pounding; she was still fearful, but with the distinct feeling of exhilaration mixed in this time. While she was still terrified as to how Ben would respond, she also never felt quite so proud of herself. She did have agency in her own life, and she changed her narrative. _Helen was right_ , she thought.

Still, she stood near the door for what felt like forever, heart pounding in her throat, waiting to see if Ben would return. Thankfully, he never did. When there was a loud knocking at her door several minutes later, the police were quick to say it was them.

Alison didn't sleep well. On top of being up late talking to the police (ultimately, she decided not to press charges), her night was filled with unsettling dreams.

She woke up on Friday exhausted, which was unfortunate given how much she needed to do. For one thing, she had to work, and on top of numerous scheduled peer sessions with the patients at Woodlawn, she had to somehow get permission from her bosses and submit the paperwork to cancel her trip that was scheduled to depart _tomorrow_. Given what happened between her and Ben less than twenty-four hours ago, Alison figured it was in both of their best interests not to spend any time together, even for work. Her bosses were pissed since the conference fee was nonrefundable, but they would have been even madder if she hadn't lied and told them Joanie was sick.

She wondered was she was going to do all weekend. She wasn't flying anywhere now, but no one really knew that yet. It was already arranged that Joanie would stay at Cole's, even if Cole himself was God-knows-where- and truthfully, Alison was a little scared to have Joanie around given what just happened, so she was content to let her stay elsewhere, even if it was with Luisa. Alison didn't have to work, considering she had rescheduled all of her Woodlawn patients until late the following week when she returned. Athena, Tina- they both thought that Alison would be at the conference, and she didn't currently have the energy to tell them the truth. She was going to be home, and yet after everything that happened there last night- it was the last place she wanted to stay.

So Alison spent the next two days disappearing in her own town- taking long walks in the secluded areas of the beach, ducking into corners of souvenir shops. She even went to Block Island. She thought about Noah while she was there, contrasting their first trip to Block Island with their trip to Catalina just last week, another little island, except 3,000 miles away. She and Noah had had a long talk that day, about what they meant to each other- how she still loved him and knew that she loved her, but that it was all over- and it had been for a long time. It felt good to have reached a definitive conclusion about Noah in her mind. She kept her phone off as she revisited the place where it all started. There were too many people that she just didn't want to hear from.

It wasn't until the next morning that Alison realized she never turned her phone back on. Immediately, the voicemail button pinged. There were two from Athena, and then another one.

"Hey, Ali, it's me. Uh, Cole, um, I'm just, um…uh, I just- give me a call when you get this, all right?"


End file.
